Thursday, July 3, 2014

Giving Ourselves a Break

As my pilot blogpost, I want to address a trend I notice more and more in moms these days: we hold ourselves up to impossible standards.

I have a dear friend who has stuck by me through so many phases in my life.  Even when I was single and she was married with children, she always made time for me.  I will forever be grateful to her for listening to my drama even when she had screaming kids in the background.  This friend is a wonderful mother, an avid volunteer, a kickass wife, etc., but every time we get together, she apologizes to me for the craziness. I always say,"No worries!"

At our last catch-up session, when she apologized as I was leaving, I told her this: If everything was perfect and your children were silent or afraid to make noise, I'd think you were doing something wrong.  Your children are independent and free spirits; you are obviously doing something right.

I hope she listened.  My hope is that every mother who needs to hear this listens to that statement.  Our lives should not be perfect all the time.  There should be messes and loud noises and mistakes and, of course, laughter. Those moments are how we grow and how we make memories.  No more apologies for having a crazy life.  Remember to give ourselves a break once in a while.

Since the Little Man was born and we received his birth diagnosis of Down syndrome (DS), I have taken on researching with a vengeance.  I want to know as much as I possibly can about DS and what we can do to improve our son's quality of life.  I research supplements, therapies, diets, vaccines, and a ridiculous amount of other topics on a daily basis.  I read blogs, journal articles about drug trials, Facebook posts, etc.  I learn so much that often I can't turn off my brain when I turn off the light.

So this part of my post goes out as a reminder to myself and to the other moms of children with DS or other special needs: You're doing enough.  You cannot learn it all in one day.  You are making decisions based on what you believe to be best for your child.  Sometimes others will not agree with you.  It will be OK.  Sometimes you may change your mind.  It will be OK.  No more apologies for a crazy life or a passionate cause.

Remember to give ourselves a break once in a while.