Yesterday was a frustrating day. It was just regular old life taking a swing at us. For the past two weeks we have had both sets of grandparents visiting to help after I took a fall and spent a couple days in the hospital. Our house was the cleanest, most put-together it has been in months. Then yesterday morning we woke up to wet carpet in the living room that led to the discovery of a huge under-the-sink leak/flood. The water had soaked through the bottom of the cabinets and wall separating the kitchen and living room. So much for our clean, put-together house. Not exactly how we expected our last day with house guests to go. Understandably, my husband was quite frustrated and exclaimed, "Can we just catch a break?!"
This started me thinking about what I wanted to write about today. Since I have been focusing on the common health concerns that come along with DS this past week, I realize that some people might be thinking to themselves, "Gosh, that's a lot to deal with!" or "I'd hate to have to constantly worry." And, yes, there is a pretty steep learning curve when you have a baby with Down syndrome, but I would say that is true of having any new baby. The only difference for me was that I stopped reading books on what to expect when having a baby and quickly switched to researching whatever I could find about DS.
For a while that research and need to know everything about DS kind of consumed me. I had a hard time focusing on Jackson as a baby, and I feel that I missed out on some of the joy of his first year. Until recently I really struggled as I saw other children, both typical and with DS, pass him by when it came to milestones. Theodore Roosevelt hit the nail on the head when he said that "comparison is the thief of joy."
Then, some time this summer, a flip switched in me. Maybe it was because Jackson finally started four-point crawling, something I had basically given up on him doing, or maybe it was because he has clearly made a cognitive leap in recent months. Or maybe I have just accepted that, yes, it will take Jackson longer to reach certain milestones, specifically gross motor skills, but somehow I know he WILL get there.
I still have my moments of jealousy or an off day here or there, but, honestly, who doesn't? This new found acceptance is quite freeing and allows me to see all the things Jackson is doing. I am consciously deciding to Choose Joy.
So when my husband asked why we couldn't just catch a break, I responded with,"We did." When I fell two weeks ago, because I am six months pregnant, things could have gone much differently. The three-centimeter placental bleed the ultrasound showed could have turned into something that required an emergency c-section of our baby girl at 24-weeks gestation. Instead, it reabsorbed and resolved itself completely. We also caught a break that all four of our parents were able to rush down here and help while I was restricted from any heavy-lifting. I am not sure what we would have done without them!
Sometimes it is so easy to focus on the negatives in life, but that focus can cause us to be blind to the amazing and wonderful things happening right in front of us. So as I write in the midst of three different box fans blowing to dry out pulled up carpet and cabinets, I am reminded to Choose Joy Always. Jackson makes it incredibly easy to do just that.
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